Books: A Piece of Cake

March 16, 2008 | Books

I just finished reading A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown. Anyone?

Life takes Visa … unless we’re talking about MY life

March 14, 2008 | Airlines,Customer service,Visa

Dear Visa,

Thanks for giving it the old college try. You could have just ignored me, which is about what I’ve come to expect. But, hey, you tried. Right?

You didn’t do anything, though, because your “research indicated” that I “voluntarily purchased another set of tickets” to get out of Norway.

Yeah. About that word … voluntarily? Well, here’s the deal.

If someone held a gun to my head and demanded all my money? It’s a pretty safe bet I would voluntarily hand over everything I had in my purse. Especially if I had my three children with me. Heck, I’d even voluntarily hand over my whole purse, which, you know, is where I keep my Visa card. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want it all back when the jerk was arrested. And I bet your ears would perk up about the whole Visa-card part of the deal.

But, whatever. I’ve gotten about $3,000 back from the airline all on my own, thankyouverymuch. Guess I’ll have to get the rest of it on my own too.

Your lowly customer-bot,

Becky

These boots were made for … princess elephants?

March 12, 2008 | Stuff

I cleaned off my camera today so I could take a picture of this.

Pretty shoes (high-heeled pink sneakers, even) are required to make an elephant a princess. Or so I’m told.

Matt Damon’s wife expecting their second child

March 11, 2008 | Matt Damon

Apparently, she’s been, well, you know …

Ducks? Shoot! Or … what I did this weekend

March 10, 2008 | Stuff

The ducks made my kids shriek. And not in a good way. My kids obviously have no farm cred. (Photo by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah)

Jeff Healey, 1966-2008

March 8, 2008 | Music

Oh, man. So that’s why I heard Jeff Healey on the radio this week. How sad for his family. He was way too young.

Los Lonely Boys are coming to town

Dad2twins,Los Lonely Boys,Music

And I get to see them! Thanks, Kay, for Covering Florida and letting me know about it. Maybe I’ll see you there!

I’ve talked about Los Lonely Boys before and even got Dad2twins to write a guest-post review of their first album. It won’t be at the corner bar where I can order a pitcher (or three) of beer and dance all night long, but it will be backstage. That’s how we’ll celebrate a couple things — a birthday that ends in zero and an anniversary that ends in 5. Whee!

You’ve got your hands full!

March 4, 2008 | Blogging,Quadruplets,Quintuplets,Sextuplets,Triplets,Twins

Yes, I do. Now I’m blogging at You’ve Got Your Hands Full.

Go check it out!

Politics: SNL snags Clinton

March 2, 2008 | 2008 campaign,Hillary Clinton,Politics,SNL

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton apparently does not read my blog (I’m crushed), otherwise she wouldn’t have done this.

Am I a blue-collar white guy?

2008 campaign,Barack Obama,Hillary Clinton,John McCain

I read White Men Hold Key for Democrats recently in the Wall Street Journal. I take the idea of pigeonholing people into powerful voting groups with a grain of salt (soccer moms, security moms, angry white males, anyone?), but this stuck with me:

It seems like someone else should be there. It’s like there’s someone missing.— Dan Leihgeber, a smelter in a steel plant in Youngstown, Ohio; he supports Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton

That’s how I feel. Does that make me a blue-collar white guy?

I understand the whole we’re-making-history aspect of having Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., and Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., run for president. I feel as if I should be more excited about it than I am. I really, really, really want to get the shivers from “Yes We Can” or “We Are The Ones” and believe that Obama (or anyone) will wear a big S and a cape and fly in to save the day.

I just can’t, though.

Why? W-A-R. (That’s w.a.r. to you, will.i.am.)

Obama says he’s been against the war since before it started. He said, “I don’t oppose all wars … What I am opposed to is a dumb war,” in his Oct. 2, 2002, speech at an antiwar rally in Chicago. While he joined the Rev. Jesse Jackson, the Rev. Paul Rutgers and former Illinois state Sen. Jesus Garcia in urging the federal government to avoid a military strike against Iraq, Obama was not in a position to vote for or against the war as a state senator in Illinois. When he was a U.S. senator and was in the position to vote on war issues, he voted for funding the war — until he started running for president. That’s when he started saying, “So I make a solemn pledge to you, as president, we will be out of Iraq.”

That’s also when Clinton, who voted for the war and voted for funding the war, started saying, “When I am president, I will end the war.”

Right. Because they did such a bang-up job after the campaign promises of 2006 and the “direct mandate from the American people to end the war.” Instead of ending the war, though, Clinton and Obama changed tack and started saying they would end it … in 2009. Then they backpedaled even harder in a debate in September 2007, when neither would commit to having all U.S. troops out of Iraq by 2013. That’s another five years.

What do they mean when they say they will end the war when they’re president, and how is that any different from Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., saying U.S. troops should be in Iraq for 100 years?

I’ll tell you how it’s different. At least I know where McCain stands. He says he won’t end the war, and I believe him 100 percent.

What’s the big deal about war anyway? Hasn’t it been tossed aside in favor of the bright, shiny object of the day — the economy? As if the war has nothing to do with the economy.

Well, it doesn’t … if you ask President George W. Bush.

(Hat tip: Kemp and Whitehouser.)

But the American people — the ones who issued a mandate to end the war — aren’t that stupid. They’ve said that the way to fix the economy is to get out of Iraq. Gee, ya think?

Even though the economy is now our “No. 1 concern,” McCain apparently “doesn’t really understand economics.” Maybe he thinks leprechauns will replenish the pots of gold while he sleeps?

Clinton and Obama prattle on about how they will set up their respective health-care plans. With what resources? Who will replenish their pots o’ gold? Steven Spielberg? Barbra Streisand? Robert De Niro? Or, wait. Oprah!

Oprah can set up a health-care system for Americans with 200-thread-count sheets on every hospital bed, yoga classes and manicures between doctor appointments and fireplaces in every ER waiting room. Oprah’s plan would simply require 1) All Oprah All Day Satellite Network (including Dr. Phil and The Color Purple) running on every television set and 2) patient-consent forms that say, “This procedure / examination / surgery / discussion between you and your doctor may be monitored for security and money-making purposes. If you choose not to sign this consent form, see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya and don’t let the door hit you on your way out, you greedy, lazy American fool” and 3) camera crews, makeup and a few “favorite things” thrown in for good measure and the promise of your malignant tumor showing up on prime-time television.

OK, so I joke. But Clinton and Obama’s ideas for health care have just about as much chance of succeeding as the Oprah Plan does. Why? Because they need to get rid of the elephant in the room first. (No, I’m not talking about race or gender or who’s wearing a turban … or whatever else they’ll come up with over the next several months.) And I just don’t see that happening. They haven’t done the jobs they promised to do as senators. What makes a blue-collar white guy like me think they’ll do what they promise as president?