Bob is one of my favorite readers — and not just of my blog. He won a copy of George Orwell’s 1984 in a caption contest I held last year. He also won an autographed copy of Jim Sheeler’s book, Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives. He just wrote an incredible review, which I’m sharing here. He plans to pass around the book for others to read. Bob is a military musician who lives in Washington, D.C.

Book review: Final Salute tells heart-wrenching stories of loss

It is often hard for anyone outside the military culture (and even for many within it) to understand why a person would voluntarily step into a job in which the prospect of a violent death looms over every minute of the day. In a profession where the vast majority of career fields are far out of harm’s way, those who do the actual fighting and dying define our perception of what the military is all about. Whatever the personal reasons for doing so may be — for God, for country, for family, for politics, for pay and benefits — putting one’s life on the line is part of the job description for anyone in or near a combat zone.

And so the military has its own protocols and traditions for dealing with the reality of death, affirming the value of life and honoring those who volunteer to serve their country in the most dangerous possible way.

In Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives, Jim Sheeler, a former reporter for the Rocky Mountain News in Colorado, narrates a year in the lives of the families of several service members who died in Iraq.

The person who touches all those lives is Marine Maj. Steve Beck, a “casualty assistance calls officer.” Informing families of a loved one’s death is not a job anyone can adequately train for; in the military it is often not even the primary duty of the person who must do it. It is a sad kind of good fortune that Sheeler found in his own journalistic backyard a Marine determined to figure out just how to do this heartbreaking job right — whether it is informing next of kin with compassion and understanding; or making sure the casket is respectfully borne from the airplane and presented to the family; or seeing to it that the body of the deceased is attended by fellow service members at every moment until it is properly buried; or helping spouses and children receive the continuing military benefits to which they’re entitled.

Sheeler does not dwell on examples of what not to do, but it’s clear that the care, sensitivity and long-term devotion that Maj. Beck shows his families cannot be taken for granted. Beck disregards the official scripts and other basic guidance the military provides for death notifications and follow-up care. (”[N]o firm instructions can be given to cover the varied and sometimes difficult situations that may arise … ” the manual states.) Instead Beck relies on his own instincts, and the certainty of how he would want his own family treated in similar circumstances.

Nor does Sheeler get into the politics of the war, other than relating the occasional views of grieving relatives. Instead he focuses on how each “unfinished life” complicates and enriches the lives left in its wake:

• Marine Lance Cpl. Brett Lee Lundstrom’s military honors intermingle with the year-long mourning traditions of the Oglala Lakota Sioux tribe. Army Sgt. Ed Lundstrom goes back to Iraq after his older brother is buried.
• Marine Sgt. Gregory Edwards, still recovering from an explosion that cost him both his legs, insists on going to Arlington National Cemetery months later for the funeral of Navy Corpsman Christopher “Doc” Anderson, the medic who kept Edwards alive after that explosion.
• Army Pvt. 1st Class Jesse Givens’ widow, Melissa, speaks of the discomfort casual acquaintances may feel in her presence: “A couple of people were upset that I was at the Christmas party because I remind them of what can happen to their husband.” Her older son Dakota is taunted by other children: “I get mad when kids tell me the wrong things, like ‘Your daddy died for no reason.’ They tell that to me. They even tell that to [younger brother] Carson. Kids are – well, kids are just kids. I know it’s not true. And I make sure Carson knows that, too.” Dakota makes a promise: “I’m going to do everything [with Carson] that my dad did with me. I’m going to take him to the park. I’m going to take him everywhere my dad took me. And if my mom dies, I’m going to take care of him like she takes care of me.”

How can a 10-year-old boy grow up that fast?

The book includes 24 pages of pictures, many of which ran with Sheeler’s original Rocky Mountain News stories, which make up much of the book. Among the most striking of Todd Heisler’s photos is that of a six-man Marine honor guard preparing to remove the casket of 2nd Lt. James Cathey from a commercial airliner, while passengers’ faces can be seen in the plane’s windows.

There is hardly a paragraph or photo in this book that is not heart-wrenching to contemplate, but it is never maudlin or manipulative.

If there’s a message, it might be this simple: These men died doing what their country asked them to do. Their families and communities mourn and grieve and do their best to mend the wounds, fill the gaps and express the meaning of an unfinished life.

…

Related DMBR posts
Books: Final Salute ~ winners announced
Books: Final Salute winners coming soon
Memorial Day
Books: Final Salute ~ win an autographed copy

About the book
About the author ~ Jim Sheeler won the 2006 Pulitzer Prize for feature writing for the 2005 Veterans Day special report at the Rocky Mountain News. Sheeler is now a freelance reporter and scholar in residence at the School of Journalism and Mass Communications at the University of Colorado at Boulder.
About the photographer ~ Todd Heisler won the 2006 Pulitzer Prize for feature photography for the 2005 Veterans Day special report at the Rocky Mountain News. Heisler is now a staff photographer for The New York Times.
Rocky Mountain News special report

Related articles, reviews and blog posts
Bylines, University of Colorado at Boulder alumni newsletter
Chattanooga Times Free-Press
Colorado Springs Independent
Columbia Journalism Review
The Daily Item
The Dennis Prager Show
The Digital Journalist
NPR (includes an excerpt of the book)
The New York Times Books
The New York Times Sunday Book Review
Not For Attribution
One-Minute Book Reviews
Paul’s Down-Home Page
PhillyBurbs
PhotoJournalism
PopPhoto
A Series Of (Un)Fortunate Reviews
Some Soldier’s Mom
TakeGreatPictures
TIME
VetVoice
Video/audio links on Jim Sheeler’s site
The Washington Post
YatPundit

5-year-old: “Do you have Noggin?”

6-year-old:“Umm, no. [pause] Do you have Google?”

No, we’re not here, but we passed through St. Louis on our trip up.

More pictures and details to come. Gotta post this before I lose Internet connection agai…

As promised, here’s the list of people getting autographed copies of Final Salute by Jim Sheeler.

1) Gunfighter, who wrote

In the course of my life, I have viewed Memorial Day through different lenses.

As A child, I thought of Memorial day as the beginning of the summer season. There was a holiday, and flags, a trip to someplace warm in my future, and the joyful knowledge that school would be out for the summer in a few weeks. The world was alive with possibilities.

As a younger man, who enlisted in the Marines in 1981 (at age 17), Memorial Day was a day that the “Old timers” would draw away from the us young-bloods. They would share stories, and private thoughts and exchange somber greetings with each other. You see, in those days, the “Old Timers” were the guys who had served, and lost friends, in Vietnam. I sort of understood it, then, but it wasn’t personal.

As a veteran who is settling into the reality that I now have fewer days left in front of me than I do behind me, I see memorial day through an entirely different lens.

Today, I see Memorial Day as a day to remember friends who served with me. I see Memorial Day as a day to honor those who served their country honorably, and gave their lives in the ultimate sacrifice.

I served in the armed forces at the end of the Cold War and through a couple of hot ones. Beirut, Lebanon; Grenada; Panama; The Persian Gulf War… I have friends who were killed in some of those places. I have friends who stayed in the service, who are now the “old timers” themselves. Many of these friends have served in Iraq or Afghanistan more than once.

I have coworkers who are Reservists who have been wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. Their wounds, and suffering are important to me… they are personal.

On this Memorial Day, I will continue to honor the sacrifices of my friends and my younger comrades who are now taking my place in the line. Sure, I’ll still worry about them, and I’ll still have my own grave misgivings about the reasons for the current war, but this will not diminish the pride I feel at having been part of the superb forces that serve America.

2) Caroline, who wrote

My father, at 66 years of age, is currently working for USAID in northern Vietnam, he’s trying to clean up remenants of agent orange. A daunting task to say the LEAST. But this is actually a fairly relaxing post for him. Last year, he was in Kabul, Afghanistan for 4 months. He did about 4 “tours” of this sort trying to assist farmers with alternative livlihood methods - farming options OTHER than growing poppies. And war lords weren’t his biggest fan. Anyway, my point is, his life was at stake. Everyday. He wore flak jackets to work and literally had 12 “shooters” around him where ever he went. And this is where Memorial day comes into the picture for me. The men protecting him? The “shooters” that escorted him all over town and all over the country? They were kids - 21, 22, 23. And when my Dad spoke with them, they had such dedication to their jobs and their country. They were ready to die for my Dad. My Dad!? Who always loses his glasses, is late for everything and doesn’t know how to wash his own shirts? They would give their lives for my Dad? And some did while my father was there. On Monday (and many other days) I remember them and thank them for allowing my Dad to make it home for our Christmases, a graduation, seeing his third grandson born - just continuing his life with us. Bless them and I thank them from the bottem of my heart.

3) Bob, who wrote

To some military musicians and ceremonial guardsmen, every day is Memorial Day.

I’m a military musician in Washington, DC. Where I work, the main mission is rendering final honors to the dead at Arlington National Cemetery. Though performing is not my primary duty (I’m usually off in the corner where they keep the creative types), I am occasionally called on as an extra or substitute drummer for a funeral.

Even for a stand-in like me, it is all too easy to regard the job with a sense of routine. A military funeral is, after all, a ritual that has changed little over the centuries, and the troops who perform it are professionals whose principal job is to perform it as many as four times a day.

Services are virtually identical from one to the next. It is rare for members of the ceremonial unit even to know the name of the deceased. But even though the services may blur together in a performer’s memory -— indeed may seldom have any distinctive resonance as little as a day later -— the performers know, every time, that for the family and friends gathered to honor their loved one, it is a singular occasion of immeasurable significance, and it will be remembered.

I know what it’s like to get a “thank you” for -— to my thinking at the moment -— just doing my job. When a boss or supervisor says it, I often blow it off and keep on working. But when it comes from someone who is genuinely moved by the solemn spectacle of the military’s most fundamental honor, that is something else entirely. I know that for Memorial Days to come, they will recall the funeral as a fitting and proper tribute to someone who deserved nothing less.

and …

Andy, who entered over at eMail Our Military, wrote

Rarely do contests. Figured, I participate in this worthy project.

Semper Fi!

Andy Valadez
USMC 88 to 92

Thank you again to everyone who participated.

Remember:

1) Read it.
2) Write about it.
3) Pass it on.

We had appointments with the dentist this morning. The dentist’s building has this.

An alligator.

When their teeth were all sparkling (no cavities!) and clean, they got these.

Balloons.

One of which is already stuck out of reach in my vaulted ceiling.

The others are sure to follow.

Yep. Two seconds after I typed that, here’s what happened.

Two down, one to go.

On the way home, we stopped here.

Old MacDonald’s.

That’s right. We stopped by “the farm” for milkshakes.

…

Question of the day: Isn’t that Squiggy on Oswald?

Yes, it is.

If you haven’t heard from me lately, it’s because I’ve been working on the launch of Being Savvy: Tampa, one of the city blogs on The Savvy Source for Parents. Other cities (so far) are Atlanta, Austin, Charleston, Chicago, Columbus, Denver, Detroit, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Nashville, New Orleans, San Antonio, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle and Washington, D.C.

And little ol’ me.

They gave me the keys to my very own Tampa blog. I don’t know what they were thinking. I’m just trying to keep my hands at 10 and 2 and keep from crashing into anything. In any case, it should be a fun and interesting ride.

Come on over. Take a look … and get a load of all the fun stuff we get to do in Tampa.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post about Final Salute. I’m notifying winners now, and I’ll post them soon.

Thanks!

I read about some tips for traveling this summer, including this:

Package shippers like FedEx Corp. or United Parcel Service Inc. or luggage shippers like Luggage Forward Inc. or Sports Express LLC may now be an attractive alternative. With FedEx, you can ship three bags — two 40-pounders and one 60-pound bag, from Dallas to Boston and back for about $250 if you use the three-business-day service, and the price might be a lot less if you have access to a corporate account with discounts at FedEx. Put the bags in shipping boxes or just use tags that shippers now have for luggage. Package shippers can track the bags, too — something airlines don’t do. On United, those same three bags would cost you $450 round trip if traveling alone.

So … when will the package shippers start putting “people boxes” on their planes? How bad could it be?

(Well, unless you’re Chuck Noland … )