What is this?

May 18, 2009 | Stuff

And why do I see a bunch of them around the park?

Set it to music

May 15, 2009 | Stuff

And I’ll celebrate #16. Happy anniversary to me!

The Only Thing that Looks Good on Me is You, Bryan Adams

Dr. Feelgood, Aretha Franklin

Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton

Breaking in the lefse grill

April 25, 2009 | Family,Norway,Stuff

Yes, I got a lefse grill last year.

Shiny, huh? No, I haven’t used it. Well, I hadn’t used it until my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece were here from Norway. Here we are (MIL & me) in all our aproned glory. And, yes, I’m pretending to know what’s going on.

Here’s the lefse recipe.

Here’s everything else.

Yum!

Step right up and don’t be shy, because you will not believe your eyes

April 19, 2009 | Stuff

Apparently, someone enjoys an audience.

Iowans are funny

February 3, 2009 | Birthday,Iowa,Stuff

I’ve driven by this house lots of times. Either I never noticed the lamp in the window or they just won it in a contest.

Here’s a laugh for my brother, who turns a year older today.

Happy birthday!

Tastes like chicken

January 22, 2009 | Barack Obama,Dog,Iowa,Stuff,Weather,Winter

The latest blizzard/snow/ice/wind stuff buried the heavy-duty vinyl-coated galvanized-steel tie-out cable. You know … the one the dog likes to chew.

It also embiggened the snow drift that covered the snow fort.

Which gave the dog access to the clothesline — an itty-bitty version of the doggie tie-out cable.

I still get this “you talkin’ to me?” look.

Yeah. We took down the clothesline.

P.S. Hey, Mr. President. Look at this adorable puppy-dog. Aww, isn’t she cute? Hypoallergenic? Why, butofcourse! Can she fit into life at the White House with the First Family? Why, Yes, She Can-ine! Call me. I know you still have that Blackberry. Call me!

We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne

January 6, 2009 | 2008,2009,Family,Friends,New Year,Stuff

I’ve heard so many people say about last year, “Good riddance!” and “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Yeah, 2008 sucked in many ways. Even so, I’m … grateful.

Don’t worry. I’m not going permanently smarmy. I have plenty of complaints and pessimism to last the rest of the year. But for now, I’m grateful.

In a year where losses piled on losses, I have so much. I have a wonderful husband who still loves me after all these years. I have three beautiful children. I live closer to the rest of my family than I ever have before. I have shelter, warmth, companionship and love.

Wishing you all of this and more … happy New Year.

Put your pride on the shelf … just go to the Y.M.C.A.

January 3, 2009 | Stuff

I joined the Y the other day.

You know what that means. (Besides that I didn’t win a Wii Fit from Loser Moms.)

I’ll have to shave my legs.

There goes a layer of insulation.

Now, I wonder if I’ve unpacked my does-this-make-me-look-fat black, one-piece swimming suit.

How much is that doggie in the window?

December 30, 2008 | Stuff

I bought a pillow a while back for the dog’s bed and saved it for Christmas, when she “wouldn’t be chewing everything up.”

What was I thinking.

This is the dog who eats ice, snow, wood and rocks. Who devoured a new toy in 20 seconds flat … literally, poof! gone. Who inhales pig ears and rawhide bones. Who ate the bark off the amazing apple tree … will that kill the tree?

(Don’t worry. She eats plenty of real food. I’ll have to start collecting it in a semi-trailer at the farmer’s co-op soon. That’s how much real food she eats.)

Who chewed through a medium-thick vinyl-coated galvanized-steel tie-out cable.

(And, no, she’s not tied up 24/7. She hasn’t even been tied up since then because she’s always been good about staying in the back yard behind the house. Today? I found her on the edge of the highway.)

When I bought a heavy-duty cable a couple of weeks ago, the checkout guy said, “Wow. You must have a big dog.”

Well, yeah. She’s a big puppy, and she already chewed through one of these.

“One of these metal ones?!?”

Yup.

She’s already started working her way through the new one.

She’ll chew on it for extra measure even when she’s not attached to the end of it.

I give it, oh, three weeks tops before I run out of ways to keep her off the highway.

See that little Santa collar with the bells?

After I put that on her, I completely thought it would be in shreds the next morning, and I’d find her chewing on the metal bells. She apparently likes it, though.

Her new pillow? Not so much.

That’s after all the innards had been stuffed back inside. The reason she doesn’t hang out much in the living room? Because I don’t want my sofa to look like that. And, believe me, it would.

I’m reading this book, written by Paul Owens, The Original Dog Whisperer. (I didn’t realize there was more than one. Now I know.)

I’m really trying, y’all. But this is the reaction I get.

If that’s what she did when I tell her to “sit,” that would be great. But this is what I get when I tell her to “come.”

I watched Cesar Millan on Dog Whisperer recently.

Please tell me it’s not a bunch of smoke and mirrors. Please tell me he doesn’t spend three weeks training some dog and make it look like it takes him three minutes.

If either one of these whispering guys can teach me how to get my dog to do ANYTHING in three minutes (three days or, heck, even three weeks)? I’ll make him a turkey dinner.

Or, I don’t know. Maybe I need an exorcist.

Sigh.

Why didn’t I get a hamster?

Best birthday card ever

December 29, 2008 | Birthday,Stuff