Is it just me …

January 26, 2009 | I'm kidding,Internet,Television,Weird things

… or does Yahoo!’s Year of the Ox ox resemble Noggin’s moose?

Everything, everything, everything

January 19, 2009 | I'm kidding

I just got this book called How to Cook Everything.

That’s great because right now? I could eat everything.

Weird things happen in my dreams

January 8, 2009 | I'm kidding

I was reading a blog post (in my dream) by Sarah about us hanging out with Patrick Swayze. In Tampa. And she had pictures. (They were good.)

As we were reading her blog post, we were also hanging out with other celebrity boys. (I can’t remember who now.) We were headed out the door when my telephone rang. We all stopped and listened. It was Teddy Kennedy saying to my answering machine, “Hi, Becky. It’s Edward. Blah-blah-blah-de-blah.”

I was all, let’s get outta here, hurry! And I was relieved he didn’t have my cell number.

What’s more disturbing?

1) That I still had an answering machine?
or
2) That Teddy Kennedy was leaving a message on it?
or
3) That Teddy Kennedy apparently knew where I lived?

Dear Ringo Starr,

October 15, 2008 | I'm kidding

Can I call you Ringo Starr?

I never had the urge to write to you … until now.

Can I have your autograph?

Mommy’s Time Out wine

March 28, 2008 | I'm kidding

But does it come with a babysitter?

Separated at birth?

February 21, 2008 | I'm kidding

I think it’s all in the cheeks.

Feeling lucky?

I'm kidding

This just in. Someone from a casino just hit me with this search phrase:

when do i need to declare my candidacy for president?

I didn’t know Ralph Nader played the slots. Do you think he hit the jackpot?

Stay tuned for breaking news.

Updated: I guess so.