Paternity Leave Heaven
Hi there, I’m AdventureDad and you might know me from my site or The Blogfathers. Becky has graciously asked me to do a guest post and during her Norwegian adventure. Poor Becky, she’s over in Norway freezing her butt off and seeing absolutely no sunshine for a few weeks while people like me ruin her blog. I’m actually not far away from Becky since I live in Sweden, Norway’s neighbor, since a few years back.
The Scandinavian countries are known for many things but since I’ve travelled around the world quite a bit, and lived in U.S. for 15 years, I think priority on families and children really stand out. Something I’m very grateful for since I have two young children. The greatest example in Sweden is the very generous maternity/paternity leave that all parents have a right to. I’m just going back to work after six months of paid paternity leave which some people find completely normal while others can hardly believe it.
Reactions to a father staying home for six months with his children vary but can generally be divided into three groups. The Swedes think it’s great and simply ask how long I’m staying home. The Americans are shocked and impressed, especially that fathers have the same possibilities, at our long paid leave and ask lots of good questions. And finally the South Americans, especially fathers, who are too shocked or uninterested to ask anything at all. The Latin fathers simply can’t believe why any father would voluntarily stay at home with his children, a job clearly meant for women only.
If you’re a father and wonder if it’s a nice vacation to stay home with two kids I can quickly tell you it’s not. I have the most stressful Wall Street job imaginable but being at home with my children is twice as tough. It’s a real challenge.
How come so few countries pay parents so they can give their infants, and of course also the family, a good start in life? I don’t know but having seen the difference I’m convinced parental leave is one of the best investments ever for a society. I’m sure problems later in life, like disease, crime, finances, and family stuff, become far less of an issue since parents get a relaxed start and have time to build a very close relationship with their kids (and spouse). Not having to worry about finances, health care, or work does make an incredibly difference. While many say Sweden offers so many family benefits because of our social democratic system I’m sure it’s actually a clever plan which in the long run drastically decreases the expenses for the government.  It’s a win-win situation for everyone.
For every child the Swedes are allowed to stay home 480 working days. Mother and father can split the time any way they want. The compensation is roughly 90% of your salary up to a cap which is equal to an average salary. Some companies, like my employer, even make up the difference for higher salaries so the compensation will be 90% regardless if one is making $25k or $300k a year.
While it would be easy to rip other countries, like the U.S., for virtually nonexistent benefits I think a better idea would be for those countries to learn from other systems which work well. For many who have experienced the different approaches to parenthood it’s obvious that the extra expense paid early on yields an amazing payback down the line. The question is, how do we change the system to make it easier to combine children, family, and work?
For me personally, paternity leave has been fantastic and I really wish more fathers had this possibility. It’s great for the children and stepping into the “traditional motherhood role” is more educational than you can imagine. I stayed home 5 months with our now 4-year old son and 6 months with our now 16-month old daughter. I can clearly notice my relationship being very different from fathers who have not spend 24/7 with their kids for an extended amount of time. Although that is very nice now when my kids are young I expect to see the greatest benefits in 10-15 years. Those teenage years are apparently not always easy but a great bond with my kids will hopefully help.
Posted by AdventureDad @
12:07 pm |
Attack of the long-winded book review!
Hello! My name is Théa, and I will be your guest blogger today. Becky did me the tremendous honor of asking me to guest post here at Deep Muck Big Rake, which prompted me to perform an awkward happy dance in our living room. I say “awkward” because my living room is presently full of empty boxes and piles of stuff waiting to be sorted and stored in those boxes.
My husband and I are the sort of fools who consent to move to a new apartment one week after Christmas.
Becky compiled a list of topics to get us guest bloggers thinking, and, while all of them were interesting and several of them downright intriguing, I opted to go with what I know: books. For you, I will review a book that has been out for several years and has already been made into a movie (that I haven’t seen). I give you a book you’ve heard about, discussed and possibly even read, one whose statistics are horrifying when taken out of context and even more horrifying when given in context, but whose statistics demand to be quoted, one way or the other.
I present to you, dear faithful readers of Deep Muck Big Rake, a review of Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation.
When Fast Food Nation was first released, I was in my first year of college. Friends who had recently turned vegetarian lobbed passages from Schlosser at me in misguided attempts to scandalize me into quitting meat completely; several of my classes featured excerpts from Nation on the recommended reading list; in one nonfiction writing workshop, we examined the opening paragraph to chapter 6, “On the Range,” stripped it down to its bare bones and used Schlosser’s sentence structure and scene-building techniques to write opening paragraphs of our own.
Perhaps it was the sudden abundance of Fast Food Nation quotes at a point in my life when I was immersed in books of all shapes and persuasions that allowed me to think that I had, somehow, read the book in its entirety. Whatever my reasoning, five years passed before I caught on to the fact that I was boasting (as I often am) half-formed opinions based on half-earned knowledge. I finally picked up a copy of my own and dug in.
What I presumed to be a rant against the American diet turned out to be a study of the vast damage done by the fast food industry to nearly every aspect of American culture. From what I had read, I assumed that Schlosser’s book focused primarily on the effects of the fast food industry on the American diet, but I was startled to learn that Schlosser aims for a much higher mark: in illustrating not merely how fast food companies have changed our diet but also our lifestyle, Schlosser examines the roll of fast food in today’s car culture, marketing strategies, food production industries, corporations and attitude toward the rest of the world.
Schlosser is thorough in his research and approach, if not entirely unbiased. At points it became clear to me how the reader ought to feel about the information presented and certain people, when interviewed, were painted in shades that seem intended to sway the reader’s opinion. These brief moments where Schlosser’s opinions broke through made me slightly wary, but otherwise I couldn’t complain – the man puts up a solid argument and closes with a few chapters that sound (considering the context) downright optimistic.
If corporations can do this much damage in less than a century, Schlosser theorizes, surely we – the consumers, the ones with the true power – can go a long way in another, better direction, can’t we?
But of course, he says it better than I do. You really ought to hear it from him.
Posted by Thea @
9:47 am |
Guest post: Lance-Dad2twins reviews Los Lonely Boys
I remember being appalled that my parents, in the prime of their lives (mid-20s, certainly not over the hill), didn’t think The Beatles were the best thing since sliced bread. How could they be there and not dig some of the greatest music ever? I vowed to not get stuck in a rut and to always appreciate whatever came along because — you never know — they could be the next Beatles. I realize now that maybe my parents didn’t actively dislike The Beatles. Maybe they were just sleep-deprived and trying to get through each day, hour and minute with kids underfoot. When you’re doing that, who has time to discover new music?
So, here I sit, a good 10 years into a rut of not knowing what is going on out there, musically speaking. Oh, hell. I can’t blame it all on the kids. It’s been 17 years since Stevie Ray Vaughan died, and I can’t say I’ve been on the cutting edge of any music since then. (Could someone explain Justin Timberlake? Please?) Maybe I just got lazy busy. I went through a period of discovering music that was technically before my time, I sort of “fell into” other artists who had been around for a while, and I saw some great ones live (yeah, even Paul McCartney, woo-hoo). But I haven’t gotten excited about a “new sound” for years. Until now.
Enter the Los Lonely Boys. (Even though I say they’re new, they have already been around for a few years.) When I listened to the first song on their first CD, I said, “I love these guys!” Second song, “I love these guys!” Third song, “Holy … is that Stevie Ray Vaughan?!? Whoa. I love these guys.” I got their next album, Sacred, and I love them even more. The irony is that I hear bits and pieces of my entire musical history in their music, not just their obvious influences. In addition to Vaughan, Carlos Santana and Ritchie Valens, I hear a touch of Stevie Wonder, a hint of Bryan Adams and I swear if they didn’t listen to ZZ Top growing up, you can slap me. But maybe it’s because I’m, ahem, older, which means nothing is new anymore. Maybe if I were 25 again, it would all sound completely new, and I’d be looking up these other artists they say influenced them. (Stevie Ray Vaughan? Who’s that?)
Whatever it is, I have a major music crush on these guys. When I hear Texican Style (a nod to the Vaughan Brothers’ Good Texan if I ever heard one), I want to laugh and get out on the dance floor. When I hear I Never Met A Woman, I want to slow dance with my baby and have him sing in my ear. Most of all, I’d love to go down to the corner bar, order a pitcher (or three) of beer and listen to these guys all night long. And if they’d have one of their special guests stand in for a song (oh, Santana or Willie Nelson), how cool would that be?
But, look at me, rambling on and hogging the whole post. This is a guest post. I asked Lance to review their first album, Los Lonely Boys, and he pulled me from the sky and put my feet on the ground. He’s right. It’s not perfect. But I still love these guys. And I think Lance will like their next CD even more.
…
Lance of Dad2twins fame is a musician. I searched the Internet, hoping to unravel the mystery of his band experience (he won’t tell). Unless he’s a musician who plays backup guitar for an anarchist poet in Toledo, Ohio, or someone who sings Bob Seger and Lynyrd Skynyrd songs in Georgia, the mystery will not be revealed here. From what I can tell, he has a nice, respectable job out West with a company that does stuff with money.
Lance’s early musical influences were U2, Simple Minds, late 1970s punk, Sex Pistols, early Police and The Clash. He also loved Bob Marley, Burning Spear late 1970s-early 1980s English New Wave. Today, he has a broader and more eclectic taste, listening to Tricky, Massive Attack and Björk. Vivaldi and Mozart. Etta James and Johnny Cash. His favorite albums are from bands like Sigur Rós from Iceland, 16 Horsepower from Colorado, The Innocence Mission from Pennsylvania and even Nine Inch Nails (from Ohio via New Orleans). He likes bluegrass, Irish jigs and old Hank Williams. You can throw just about anything on, and he will find something to like about it.
At his wedding, they played Etta James, Frank Sinatra, classic 1940s tunes, some Beach Boys, rock, classical and New Wave. If he were to have a funeral, he’d want Louis Armstrong to send him off, but he’d rather have everyone go to New Orleans and drink hurricanes in his honor.
His kids are big into The Wiggles, although he says Elmo is making a comeback. They also listen to tons of German children’s songs. He’s been pushing Romanisch Gypsy music on them, and they seem to like it. At least he has fun watching them dance.
He has a connection to Norway, he married a German, and they have twin daughters (aka, the Farty Pants Twins) a year younger (almost to the day) than my twin daughters. Because of that, he’s my twinmigo. And here’s his review.
Los Lonely Boys, March 30, 2004, Sony
From San Angelo, Texas, come the Los Lonely Boys. Three brothers, Henry (guitar, vocals), JoJo (bass guitar, vocals) and Ringo (drums, vocals), who come from a musical family (their father is Enrique Garza Sr., who was in a band with his brothers, The Falcones, during the 1970s and 1980s). Three brothers who have picked legendary musicians as their influences:Â Stevie Ray Vaughan, Ritchie Valens and Carlos Santana. This is like the stations of the cross for Tejano-influenced blues based rock.
Becky was kind enough to send me their album for review. I appreciate the opportunity to listen to music I have never heard before. In fact, I have only heard their hit single, Heaven. So I look forward to listening to this album. But I must admit, I feel these boys have set the musical bar high. Can they successfully incorporate these legendary influences into their music and still sound new and fresh? Let’s take a spin and see.
Señorita — OK, here is the kickoff song. So far it sounds nice. Sort of what I expected when I put the CD in the player. This is nothing new, but the guitar solo kicks ass. Carlos Santana should be proud. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he made a guest appearance.
Heaven — Um, this song is OK. A little bit repetitive, though. I believe this is the big single for the Garza brothers. It reached No. 1 on the adult contemporary charts. [It also won a Grammy in 2004 for Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group. They were also nominated for Best New Artist, Record of the Year and Best Rock Instrumental.] I hope this is not already the climax of the album and there more interesting songs on this album.
Crazy Dream — Three songs in, and the ghost of Stevie Ray Vaughn has made an appearance. I knew my patience would be rewarded. How did I know? The Boys listed Stevie under Sainthood in the liner notes. This song is it. Beautiful guitar work and a nice catchy song. Stevie would be proud.
Dime Mi Amor — Another strong song. Another Stevie Ray Vaughn guitar part. Excellent.
Hollywood— I like this song too. It reminds me of the old songs from the movies set in Hawaii. Stay with me here, this song is old-fashioned on so many levels. The harmonies are spot on and the chord progressions are beautiful. This is simply a well-written song. Maybe this is their Ritchie Valens influence. Whatever it is, I really like the way they put this song together.
More Than Love — Um, no. I don’t like this song. Sappy is about all I can say about this one. A predictable song in its structure and style. It sounds like a hundred other songs I’ve heard from a hundred other artists. Next!
Nobody Else — The brothers have the harmonies down tight. This song is a showcase of their singing style. It is a bit like the song Heaven but I think I like this song better. In fact, I know I do.
Onda — Ah, the blues. The start of this song is worth the price of the whole album. Beautiful guitar work and perfect in its execution. As a guitar player, I give this song an A+. Another song that reminds me of Carlos Santana, though. In fact, this song sounds really like Carlos. But then again, they list him under Brotherhood in the liner notes.
Real Emotions — Ah, hanging out on the beach in Miami. In my villa overlooking the bay and hanging with my beautiful Cuban bride. Oh wait, that’s not me, but this song makes me feel like it could be. Nice.
Tell Me Why — I am starting to see a pattern here. Every few songs, they throw on a boring one. This is that song. Again, NEXT!
Velvet Sky — Here is Ritchie Valens again. I like this song also with its mellow beautiful tempo and a sweet little guitar solo. Good job, Boys.
La Contestación — This song sucks. Not because it’s sung in Spanish. No, this song sucks because it is going to be played at every Latin wedding for the next 20 years or more. It is that sappy. I really hate to end the album on a negative note, but I hate this song. Now I need to go put on some Stevie Ray or Carlos to wash the bad taste out of my mouth. [Willie Nelson plays acoustic guitar on this track.]
Overall, I like the album. I don’t love the album, though. I wish I could say they sound fresh and new. But they don’t. They sound exactly like what I would expect from reading the liner notes. The Garza brothers are excellent musicians. They wear their influences well. What I most like about this band is the fact that they are succeeding and thriving. Tejano-influenced music is sorely under-appreciated by the non-Latino population. I would love to sees these guys really dig into the culture of Tejano music for their next album. These are the guys to do it. I look forward to their next album and hope it builds on the success of this one. [Get a taste of more of their music here.]
— Lance, Dad2twins
Posted by Becky @
10:20 am |
