I can smell clearly now, the poop is gone

June 15, 2009 | Iowa,Stuff

Look what finally got done Saturday. I feel so much better now.

If I gave you pretty flowers

June 12, 2009 | Iowa,Spring

These are for Amie. Her peonies bloomed before mine even got started. I promised to prolong the blooms by sending her pictures of mine. Here ya go.

Mushrooms and earthworms, fancy stuff to eat

June 9, 2009 | Iowa,Stuff

Then there’s the digging that will cost me money. A lot of money. I haven’t gotten the bill yet, but I’m dreading it. I’m so tired of this whole process. Nobody has done sh*t with the septic tank for this house in 35 years. How do I know? NOBODY knew where it was. For one brief brain-splattering moment, we thought it might be UNDER THE GARAGE. Turns out it wasn’t, but it was close.

Anyway. For almost a whole dang year now, I’ve been trying to get the stupid thing pumped / serviced. I’m a fanatic about preventive care. As painful as the whole process has been, I’d do it again over having the septic tank back up and ruin the house in, say, the middle of January.

It took me months just to figure out who does septic stuff here. By the time I talked to him, it was the middle of winter, and he suggested I call back in the spring. Which I did. Only to have him ask, “Do you know where it is?” Uh. No.

So then I had to track down a construction company to poke and dig around to find the thing. Before that happened, the telephone company had to come out and spray orange paint where all the underground lines were. Then the construction company was here here several times, probing the back yard, shoving plumbing snakes down pipes, getting nowhere, then pulling a toilet (which, by the way, they can’t PUT BACK because they’re not plumbers), then getting a plumber (who bills separately, natch) involved … and finally getting the backhoe guys here.

Now? We know where it is. We have access. And they made it sound like we found it in the nick of time. Which kinda, sorta makes me feel a little better for being so crazy-compulsive about the whole thing. But … can I get the septic tank guy to return my calls?

Guess.

Welcome down underground, hunker down a spell

June 8, 2009 | Iowa,Stuff

We’ve had lots of digging with big machines lately. These pictures are from the day they put down new cables for the telephone company. I scared them a bit when I told them to let me know if they find the septic tank because that would save me the money I’d have to pay another company to dig and find it. Much to their relief, they didn’t find it. But they shook the house, rattled the windows and made a big mess. Though I doubted it could be done, they actually cleaned up fairly well afterward.

‘School’s out’ gets illustrated

June 5, 2009 | Family,School,Stuff

I started singing Alice Cooper’s School’s Out for Summer when I did the last pickup of the school year. They asked to hear it on the radio. I said I’d find it on blip when I got home, and I did. We listened to the song (but didn’t watch the video). They all drew pictures.

This is Cooper with a “rock-n-roll guitar” raising the roof on the house.

This is Cooper singing.

This is the guitar.

When you’re ready we can share the wine

June 4, 2009 | MTV

What did I learn from watching the 2009 MTV Movie Awards? That you can pay anyone to do anything. That the teenish celebrities clomp along awkwardly in their high heels and newfound notoriety. That the 30+ celebrities know how to work the high heels and fame but reek of desperation.

Did they get Kiefer Sutherland to headbutt the high-school guy? No, but I think that’s only because they didn’t ask. He totally would have.

But they did get LeAnn Rimes, Chris Isaak (oh, Chris, what have you done?) and Forest Whitaker to sing a medley of Andy Samberg‘s “original tunes,” including D*** in a Box.

And Denzel Washington. Did he agree to be there only if he could bring a daughter to peddle? What. Is that the only way Hollywood progeny can get casting calls?

I admit I’ve never seen the movie awards on MTV before. And MTV isn’t highbrow by any means. But still. That spectacle was just sad.

I’m looking at you through my window

June 3, 2009 | Iowa,Spring

I put pictures together of the robin’s nest in our window for the kids to take to school. They brought them home, and we looked through them again. They asked if the nest was empty now. I said, yes, it was. About 10 minutes later, one of them came running to me, “Mommy, Mommy, come and see! There are four eggs in the nest!”

What? Are you kidding? Nope.

There are four more eggs in the nest. Here we go again.