Dear Los Lonely Boys

September 17, 2008 | Los Lonely Boys,Music

Hey, Henry, JoJo & Ringo!

It’s probably not really y’all’s fault, but I recently moved and had to switch cell-phone companies. You know the most important ringtone I had on my old phone? Your song Senorita (only because I couldn’t find Texican Style). You know … every time my baby calls me, I get to hear, “You’re my little senorita …” and your voices and music. Suh-weet.

But now? Nah. Something’s all messed up. Sony apparently doesn’t have an agreement with Alltel. Or you don’t. Or … oh, I don’t know. I don’t care, really. I just want the dang ringtone I paid for before. I mean, hey, it’s free advertising every time my phone rings and people within earshot hear your song … right?

So … for now, Elvis tells me how good I look when my phone rings. I ain’t got no diamonds … or LLB … but I got Elvis, baby.

What are hedge balls, Alex?

September 15, 2008 | Stuff

Cathy was right. They’re called hedge balls here, but they’re also known as hedge apples, as she said, or Osage oranges, as Bob said, or even and horse apples, as Becky said — although, ahem, horse apples meant something different where I come from.

Other fun names include wild orange, bois d’arc, bodark (or bowdark mainly in Oklahoma and Texas), bodart (in northwest Louisiana), bodock (mainly in Tennessee and Alabama), and bow wood, monkey brain, monkey ball, monkey orange and brain fruit.

You’re supposed to put them around the house to keep the bugs away, although some governmental agency apparently gives hedge-ball harvesters a hard time because the whole bug thing is not a scientific fact. Oh well.

I take it back about sending one in the mail. Bob was right. They’re getting pretty darn disgusting. They’re slimy, and they smell worse than they look. I’m guessing it wouldn’t be the most pleasant thing to get in the mail. Besides … ewww.

In any case, here’s some fun and amusing information about hedge balls.

Oh, deer!

Stuff

I saw deer this morning at sunrise, running along the edge of the cornfield … one big one, two small ones. I guess those deer crossing signs really mean something around here.

Books: Recent reads

September 10, 2008 | Books

Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They’d Ask): The Secrets to Surviving Your Child’s Sexual Development from Birth to the Teens by Justin Richardson and Mark Schuster ~ Interesting; good resource.

The Giver by Lois Lowry ~ Kinda creepy.

Entwined Lives by Nancy L. Segal ~ Jam-packed with information. I’ll review this on You’ve Got Your Hands Full soon. Same with the next two books.

Indivisible by Two by Nancy L. Segal ~ A more in-depth look at some of the people Segal interviewed for twin studies.

Identical Strangers by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein ~ An incredible story of separation and reunion of identical twin sisters.

What have you been reading lately?

Working Mother’s Best of Congress awards

Ethics,Journalism,PR,Working Mother

Remember back in November 2007 when Working Mother announced that it would be accepting applications for its Best of Congress awards to be given this fall? Well, that time is here. They were announced in the August/September issue, and they were celebrated at a this morning in Washington, D.C.

P.S. Carolyn B. Maloney is on the list.

If you missed how this worked with the 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers, here’s some of the PR buzz about the “Best of Congress” awards.

From a press release:

Fifty members of Congress submitted applications for this inaugural award. Applicants were judged on their voting record, sponsored/co-sponsored legislation, and efforts to promote legislation that supports working families. In addition, applicants were asked to submit policies and practices within their own offices that support working families and flexible workplace options.

From FAQs about the awards:

Q: What will they get when they win?
A: Winning Members of Congress will be:
• Profiled in the September 2008 issue of Working Mother magazine;
• Honored at a gala dinner in September 2008.
• Highlighted in an advertisement to run on the day of the gala in the Washington Post or Roll Call and their hometown newspaper.
• Profiled in Corporate Voices’ blog on the Working Mother website;
• Profiled in a press release announcing the winners;
• Highlighted on the websites of Corporate Voices’ 65 strategic partner organizations including the Society for Human Resource Management and the Conference Board.
In addition, CVWF staff will work with the Members office to highlight the award in local state media.
Q: How will this award impact a Members career or campaign?
A: Members of Congress awarded the “Best of Congress” Award will be highlighted when they win, and then again every two years as a past-winner.
Members can highlight their achievements that in Congressional updates to constituents, earned, and paid media.

Also in the FAQs: “Members will also be judged on employment practices or policies in their office that are designed to help working families.”

Listen to CEO Carol Evans speak on NPR about employees “in the trenches” of Congress working “extreme jobs” so of course things aren’t terribly flexible with those jobs. (Also on NPR with Evans were Jolene Ivey and Asra Nomani of Mocha Moms.) But, hey, not every job is made for everyone (working mothers in Congress, perhaps?), but members of Congress offer some “fun flexibility” to help their employees. Even so, they all agreed that “we need more women in Congress.” Hmm. How will that work? When Nomani criticized the lack of “family friendly” efforts in this country, Evans said, but women are excited about their jobs! Umm. OK.

The original press release

Everyone else’s press releases
Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr., D-Del.
Sen. Sherrod Brown, D-Ohio (“hometown coverage“)
Sen. Robert P. Casey Jr., D-Pa
Sen. Christopher J. Dodd, D-Conn.
Sen. Elizabeth Dole, R-N.C.
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson, R-Texas
Sen. Johnny Isakson, R-Ga.
Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn.
Sen. Herb Kohl, D-Wis. (Here’s his “hometown coverage,” written — with a byline — from a press release generated from his office.)
Sen. Gordon H. Smith, R-Ore.
Rep. Tom Allen, D-Maine
Rep. Russ Carnahan, D-Mo.
Rep. Rosa L. DeLauro, D-Conn.
Rep. Chaka Fattah, D-Pa.
Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney, D-N.Y. (“hometown coverage“)
Rep. Deborah Pryce, R-Ohio
Rep. Dave Reichert, R-Wash.
Rep. C.A. “Dutch” Ruppersberger, D-Md.
Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla.
Rep. Allyson Y. Schwartz, D-Pa.
Rep. Christopher Shays, R-Conn. (announced on his Facebook page)
Rep. Ellen O. Tauscher, D-Calif.
Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Calif.
Rep. John Yarmuth, D-Ky.

Tag, I’m It!

A Juicy Life,Blogland games

Alisa at Notre Vie Juteuse tagged me.

1. Where was I 10 years ago?
Probably living in a rental by now after selling our house and getting ready to move to Norway in a few months.

2. What is on my to-do list today?
Call about recycling (we don’t have garbage service here)
Call about the gas tank in our yard … when does it need to be filled?
Order pictures

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire?
I’m with Alisa. I would never, ever fly commercial again. I would never put my money in my old bank. I would build a home in Norway and visit often (never flying commercial, ever again, mind you).

4. Five places I have lived
Georgia
Florida
Illinois
Nebraska
Norway

5. Three bad habits
Procrastinating
Not reading instructions thoroughly
Cursing (see first two)

6. Snacks I like
Corn chips
Pretzels
Chocolate-covered peanuts

7. People I’m tagging
Anyone who wants to play.

Project Runway is entertaining?

September 9, 2008 | Television

Who knew?

Sarah kept talking about Project Runway. I’d groan and think, “Are you kidding me?” But I’ve got all these channels now, so I recorded the show. Watched my first one tonight. One of my daughters kept saying, “Oh, they’re so pretty!” (It was the drag-queen episode.) Yeah. I might have to watch it again.

Go figure.

Straight from the farm

September 4, 2008 | Stuff

I found these in the produce section at the local grocery store. It had a big sign that said, “DO NOT EAT!”

Know what they are?

The first person who can tell me gets one in the mail.

Still on Eastern time

Stuff

So I keep seeing this in the morning.

Oh, and we had a cold front come through. I dressed the kids in long-sleeve shirts and broke out the jackets. I just bought my first real winter jacket in years at a preseason sale. We haven’t even hit “fall” on the calendar, and I’m thinking the jackets we wore for Florida’s “winter weather” won’t cut it much longer. What happens if I don’t make it to winter before wearing that new winter coat? What will I wear for winter?

When did platinum’s value plummet?

September 2, 2008 | Banks,Customer service,Ethics

My old bank sent a check to my new bank so we could close on our new house. When explaining things, the loan officer said:

I didn’t charge you the $3 fee to send the check because you’re a platinum member.

Let me explain the irony of that statement.

In June, we faced owning two houses at the same time. I called my bank, where I’ve had my money for 14 years, ever since it was a credit union (until it decided to become a bank in the last year or so).

It has the original mortgage on our house. I needed a loan to get us through the overlap of buying one house and selling another. After convincing Loan Officer #1 (not on the first try, mind you) that we were good for it even in this hideous housing market, she started the paperwork. We swapped faxes and phone calls. Things seemed to be moving along. Then, the day before she left on vacation, she faxed some forms she wanted me to sign, acknowledging that my house was in a flood zone.

Umm. No.

My house is not in a flood zone now. It wasn’t in a flood zone in 2002 when we got the original mortgage through the credit union, but #1 needed “proof.” So, in other words, she didn’t have “proof” in my files for the original mortgage? Nope.

Well, that’s her problem, not mine, right? Not if I want this loan.

Lovely.

So I called my insurance company, which quoted me $3,500/year for Zone A flood insurance. Paid in full. Up front. Before closing.

Then I spent the next several hours calling neighbors and walking door to door in the pouring rain, gathering documentation. Before the end of business that day, I faxed to Loan Officer #2 (who was to take over while #1 was on vacation) the documents (including a FEMA Letter of Map Revision) that showed the neighborhood was NOT in a flood zone. I provided the name and telephone number of the flood-certification company that was listed on a neighbor’s property.

When I talked to #2 the next day, she was reluctant to call the company, so I called. Someone there pulled the certification that said my property was not in a flood zone. But she couldn’t send me a copy. She could only send it to the requesting lender.

“Who ordered the certification?” I asked.

“Sunshine State Credit Union,” she said. “In 2002.”

My bank.

I called #2, gave her the telephone number again, this time with a person’s name and extension number, as well as the certification number on my property, fully expecting her to call and clear up everything. Well, no. She would call the bank’s current flood-certification company and have an answer for me in 24 to 48 hours.

That time came and went. In the meantime, I called around to find the documentation needed: the property-management company for our homeowners association, the company that did the survey on my property and the county administrator’s office, who would contact FEMA for me — in other words, I was doing #2’s job. And she refused to acknowledge any of the information I sent her.

And she still refused to call the original flood-certification company.

After hearing that the current flood-certification company believed my house was in a flood zone and things like, “FEMA says the document does not exist,” I realized she would never pull her head out and do her job. I called the executive vice president of the bank, someone I had worked with in the past, and chewed his ear for a while. He later gathered his little troops together (#2 and the underwriter), and they called me on the speakerphone. They apologized. And, oh, they would work SO hard and do everything possible to get this whole thing resolved.

Less than 24 hours later, I got an e-mail from the underwriter, saying, “At this point we have exhausted all avenues to resolve this issue.” He listed all the places he called, trying to get information. Was the original flood-certification company on that list? Of course not.

So I called it again. I said, look, I realize you can’t send me a copy of the certification, but since my bank is unwilling to request a copy, I need more information. She pulled up my certification. I asked if she had a copy of the FEMA LOMR letter my neighbors had. She did, but she could not find a document that specifically mentioned my address. She filed a request for me and put a rush on it.

Within HOURS, someone from the company called me. He went through the hard-copy archives and found the FEMA LOMR letter written for my property in 1994. The document my bank said that FEMA said did not exist.

“It’s a public record,” he said. “Do you want a copy?”

“HELL yeah!”

I sent it to the executive VP.

So, yeah. My bank was perfectly willing to make this “platinum member” pay $3,500 for flood insurance I did not need. But that fee to send the check? Well, they wouldn’t make me pay that. So what’s that “platinum” membership worth?

Oh, about three bucks.

Dear Sunshine Savings Bank,

As a credit union, you were O-U-T-S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G. That’s why I was with you for so long.

As a bank? You suck.

Sincerely,

Me

And, oh yeah. I’ll be calling you soon to request the title on my car so I can get license plates here. I’m sure as a “platinum member,” I won’t be trusted to put my hands on it and take it to the courthouse because, you know, we platinum members are a shifty bunch. But, hey, at least you won’t charge me for the stamp to send it to the courthouse. Right?

Update 9/4: Wow. I’m not even allowed to request that my title be sent. Oh, no. The county office had to write a letter to my bank, explaining that I moved (please stop pretending as if you don’t already know that) and that I would need to register my car in a new state. Hmph.

You still suck.